Tortuga Loca

So like these people decided I needed a blog... ahem... daphne*blue... ctrl.alt.destroy... because I am interesting... or something. I beg to differ. I have faith I'll prove them wrong. In case you haven't noticed... I like dot dot dots... a lot... and yes, that is what I call them... dot dot dots.

Right now I am house-sitting for the parents of my high school best friend turned sworn enemy-- dun dun dun... dramatic reverb. I am also best friends with my ex-husband's ex-wife. Top that. Oooh, snap. Anyways, so far I have only had a few fights with the house, which I have named Bessie. I like to name things. The first one was when I accidentally set off the alarm and in order to punish me the house waited until I drove out of sight and then left the garage door open all day. Passive aggressive, I know. In order to make sure there wasn't an ax murderer that had been hiding in wait for me all day (because coincidentally Bessie also left the door in the garage unlocked), I had to talk on my cell phone to one of my friends as I was walking around the house. Cellphones not only emit cancer causing rays that can fry rats in a single bound, but they also offer a sphere of protection from ax-murders who may be hiding in the closet. Betcha didn't know that. Sucker. Then last night I was trying to pimp this silly blogger page (for daphne*blue and ctrl.alt.destroy) and Bessie lacks wireless Internet, a major flaw, so I plugged my laptop into the DSL. She totally sabotaged me and refused to upload my banner, so I tried using their desktop, and again I was thwarted. Bessie clearly took advatage of my temper and lack of patience with all things technological. So all those who read this-- all two of you- must give me props for this boring page because it was a pain in the ass.

And no one should ever name their child Bessie or any derivative thereof, such as Bessina, Bessty or Bessatrude. It's just wrong. Hey, you know where there are a lot of Bessie's? In Vegas.